Caveat Emptor
by
Chaz Osburn
I was having one of those days.
First, I get my butt chewed out by the boss, all because of a little mishap. Okay, maybe more than a little. I rolled an excavator at the ore facility on Titan’s Menrva’s Crater.
“You’re on thin ice, mister,” the boss said.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” I said.
He thought I was being a smartass, so he sent me to HR, which signed me up for a three-week course called Fundamentals of a Successful Manager-Employee Relationship. Great.
On the way home, I blew the primary turbo ring on my galactic runabout. Needless to say, I was in a pickle. Used runabouts aren’t cheap, and I didn’t have a lot in my savings account.
“Go to Zelnar’s,” a buddy told me. “They have a huge inventory, and their salespeople listen—really listen.”
I figured I had nothing to lose, so I took her advice.
“It has to be speedy,” I told the salesperson.
“Gotcha,” he said. Then he asked:
“Got just what you need,” he said after leading me to the back of the lot. Smiling, he tapped the slightly dented side thruster of an orange and blue L-28.
“That? It looks like it’s been in an accident.”
“Not today, it hasn’t,” he chuckled. “And she runs like a dream.”
I was skeptical, but he had me take it out for a test flight, and I have to say that, except for a slight vibration in the dented side thruster, it was one of the smoothest rides I’ve experienced. So I put down a 20% deposit and took it home.
It wasn’t long before the dream turned into a nightmare.
I was halfway to Menrva the following week when the baffle plate in the side thruster failed. I was just this side of Phobos—yeah, smack dab in the middle of the transport shipping lane where non-commercial ships aren’t allowed—and nearly got broadsided by a GL-5 freighter loaded with magna-lithium. I don’t know if you’ve ever been caught in the wake of a GL-5 freighter, but I got knocked around pretty badly. Ended up breaking my left arm.
In addition to having to pay two hundred gelnars for a tow and another sixty-two gelnars for a new baffle plate, the authorities revoked my pilot’s license. Then I ended up getting canned because I needed that license for my job. Which meant I had to find a new position quickly to keep up with the payments on the L-28.
I guess I shouldn’t complain. As luck would have it, Zelnar’s was advertising for a new salesperson.
Zelnar told me the previous salesperson landed a new job—something to do with the mining industry.
Hey, you don’t suppose?
Nah …
First, I get my butt chewed out by the boss, all because of a little mishap. Okay, maybe more than a little. I rolled an excavator at the ore facility on Titan’s Menrva’s Crater.
“You’re on thin ice, mister,” the boss said.
“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” I said.
He thought I was being a smartass, so he sent me to HR, which signed me up for a three-week course called Fundamentals of a Successful Manager-Employee Relationship. Great.
On the way home, I blew the primary turbo ring on my galactic runabout. Needless to say, I was in a pickle. Used runabouts aren’t cheap, and I didn’t have a lot in my savings account.
“Go to Zelnar’s,” a buddy told me. “They have a huge inventory, and their salespeople listen—really listen.”
I figured I had nothing to lose, so I took her advice.
“It has to be speedy,” I told the salesperson.
“Gotcha,” he said. Then he asked:
- “Where do you work?
- “What do you do?
- “What’s your annual income?”
“Got just what you need,” he said after leading me to the back of the lot. Smiling, he tapped the slightly dented side thruster of an orange and blue L-28.
“That? It looks like it’s been in an accident.”
“Not today, it hasn’t,” he chuckled. “And she runs like a dream.”
I was skeptical, but he had me take it out for a test flight, and I have to say that, except for a slight vibration in the dented side thruster, it was one of the smoothest rides I’ve experienced. So I put down a 20% deposit and took it home.
It wasn’t long before the dream turned into a nightmare.
I was halfway to Menrva the following week when the baffle plate in the side thruster failed. I was just this side of Phobos—yeah, smack dab in the middle of the transport shipping lane where non-commercial ships aren’t allowed—and nearly got broadsided by a GL-5 freighter loaded with magna-lithium. I don’t know if you’ve ever been caught in the wake of a GL-5 freighter, but I got knocked around pretty badly. Ended up breaking my left arm.
In addition to having to pay two hundred gelnars for a tow and another sixty-two gelnars for a new baffle plate, the authorities revoked my pilot’s license. Then I ended up getting canned because I needed that license for my job. Which meant I had to find a new position quickly to keep up with the payments on the L-28.
I guess I shouldn’t complain. As luck would have it, Zelnar’s was advertising for a new salesperson.
Zelnar told me the previous salesperson landed a new job—something to do with the mining industry.
Hey, you don’t suppose?
Nah …