My Girlfriend and I Opened a Petting Cafe Inside an Abandoned Walgreens

You brought the goats. I brought the ferrets. 
Neither of us brought permits.
We named our cafe “Fast Feelings.”
People came in expecting to soothe their anxiety but left emotionally disturbed by a leghorn chicken named Deborah.
You gave all the rabbits tiny hats. I trained the iguana to hiss at anyone who asked dumb questions like, “Is this even legal?”
Eventually, the cops showed up, but one of them adopted two ducklings, and the other simply petted a pig and cried.
We made $83 and a TikTok that went semi-viral.
When we broke up, the animals stayed together.

Sarp Sozdinler