Lenin’s Corpse is Now on Cameo!
And he Just Sent me a Personalized Birthday Message
by
Will MacDonald
Oh my gosh! I can hardly contain my excitement. I would have never imagined ringing in 30 like this! My best friend, Jamie, sent me a Cameo video for my birthday!
Cameo? It’s that app where you can pay celebrities to send personalized video messages. And she paid the 60 bucks or whatever to get one from the actual corpse of Lenin!
You know… Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov? He’s like that guy from Russia who led the October Revolution of 1917, ousting the bourgeoisie’s provisional government and replacing it with the Bolshevik workers’ councils, ultimately leading to the creation of the Soviet Union and the 20th century’s fiercest challenge to the West’s imperialistic intentions.
No? Come on…
Dictatorship of the proletariat?
Revolutionary vanguard?
Not a single problem of the class struggle has ever been solved in history except by violence?
Yes, him! He sent me a video.
It was so cool. He’s like in his tomb and just chilling out. It was 10 minutes long, though. Most of those Cameo videos are only 30 seconds and so you kind of wonder… he must not have a lot going on these days…
Not to be mean or anything, but he probably just lays there, posing for photos in his mausoleum all day long, and then does these videos. I’m sure it’s all he has left!
Makes sense though. I mean when was the last time anyone even bought a copy of The State and Revolution? Oh my god, just the thought of your life’s work descending into perestroika, which was – no joke – the equivalent of giving a Big Mac flavored bone to the hyper-consumeristic dogs of Moscow’s upper middle-class, makes me cringe! How do you come back from that? The guy is definitely past his prime.
But it still was so awesome and it meant so much to me! I mean, you all know I am such a nerd for 19th and 20th century political theory. Crazy to think, here I am, minding my own business, and I get a video message from the cold, embalmed cadaver of the man who led the Russian peasantry in manifesting working-class power against the feudal aristocrats of the White Army!
You guys, he LITERALLY created the Communist International. How wild is that?!
Gosh, technology is great how it’s able to connect you with your idols! And for him to communicate directly with a random member of the citizenry? Tell that to Solzhenitsyn or anyone else from that glasnost rally. A member of the politburo embracing this level of transparency would blow their dissident minds!
I just hope that celebrities like the corpse of Lenin are actually realizing the profits created from their labor, and if not should seize production of the application and use them for the greater good of socialism. Yay!
Cameo? It’s that app where you can pay celebrities to send personalized video messages. And she paid the 60 bucks or whatever to get one from the actual corpse of Lenin!
You know… Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov? He’s like that guy from Russia who led the October Revolution of 1917, ousting the bourgeoisie’s provisional government and replacing it with the Bolshevik workers’ councils, ultimately leading to the creation of the Soviet Union and the 20th century’s fiercest challenge to the West’s imperialistic intentions.
No? Come on…
Dictatorship of the proletariat?
Revolutionary vanguard?
Not a single problem of the class struggle has ever been solved in history except by violence?
Yes, him! He sent me a video.
It was so cool. He’s like in his tomb and just chilling out. It was 10 minutes long, though. Most of those Cameo videos are only 30 seconds and so you kind of wonder… he must not have a lot going on these days…
Not to be mean or anything, but he probably just lays there, posing for photos in his mausoleum all day long, and then does these videos. I’m sure it’s all he has left!
Makes sense though. I mean when was the last time anyone even bought a copy of The State and Revolution? Oh my god, just the thought of your life’s work descending into perestroika, which was – no joke – the equivalent of giving a Big Mac flavored bone to the hyper-consumeristic dogs of Moscow’s upper middle-class, makes me cringe! How do you come back from that? The guy is definitely past his prime.
But it still was so awesome and it meant so much to me! I mean, you all know I am such a nerd for 19th and 20th century political theory. Crazy to think, here I am, minding my own business, and I get a video message from the cold, embalmed cadaver of the man who led the Russian peasantry in manifesting working-class power against the feudal aristocrats of the White Army!
You guys, he LITERALLY created the Communist International. How wild is that?!
Gosh, technology is great how it’s able to connect you with your idols! And for him to communicate directly with a random member of the citizenry? Tell that to Solzhenitsyn or anyone else from that glasnost rally. A member of the politburo embracing this level of transparency would blow their dissident minds!
I just hope that celebrities like the corpse of Lenin are actually realizing the profits created from their labor, and if not should seize production of the application and use them for the greater good of socialism. Yay!
NUNUM
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